Walk Out Through Faith

I am often asked if I believe praying to be healed of the homosexual or transgender thoughts and desires actually work. But just praying for healing is the wrong motivation and I think that is where a lot of people fail. God says to turn to Him with all your heart and obey Him and He will Heal you. Repentance comes before healing. These desires are not like cancer or some other sickness – these desires are the result of sin. It might seem impossible to resist now, but there was a starting point when there was a clear choice. There was a desire and there was a real temptation, but it was still a choice. People eventually become slaves to their sin. In John 8:34 “Jesus answered them, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is the slave of sin’.”

It’s like when someone becomes addicted to drugs. The first time they choose to take it, there is no addiction. They are tempted because they believe it will be enjoyable or maybe they believe it will help them with some problem. But eventually, they become convinced they cannot live without it and they cannot change. That is how all sin is.

So, the answer is not prayer for healing, but true, genuine repentance and crying out to God to save them. When I finally left that lifestyle, I was absolutely desperate to be free of it. I felt like I had fallen into a deep, dark pit I could not get out of. I begged God with all my heart to take my life because I did not want to be transgender, but I did not think I could live as a girl. I had a clear vision of Jesus getting down on one knee, reaching His hand into the pit and He said, “Do you trust me?”. I knew He was asking me to let go of everything and leave it all behind. I did with total abandon, not knowing what would happen to me or my life. It was like stepping over the edge of a cliff blind without knowing if I would fall or if there would be a bridge beneath my feet. It was the scariest thing I have ever done, and yet He did not fail me. He carried me out of the darkness, set me free of my sin and gave me new life.

I think the mistake some people make is that they try really hard to obey God in their own strength, by their own effort. And others pray for healing before they are willing to be obedient. Both will lead to failure. I prayed for over a month when I was in the pit, begging God to either heal me or let me die. I wanted desperately to be healed of the desires and thoughts and beliefs I knew were sinful and had enslaved me. But I had to walk by faith first. It is obedience through faith in Christ to heal me that set me free. I believe God gave us a pattern in scripture for the healing from the consequences of sin. God was telling Israel how He would heal their land. The healing they needed was not from some innocent circumstance unrelated to their choices. No, their land had become corrupt because of their sin and rebellion. Although there has been physical healing to their land, He was referring to their society that had become so spiritually corrupt. Their land was a reflection of their spiritual state.

2 Chronicles 7:14 “If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.”

This is not an easy road. At first, I felt like I was dying. But I wanted Christ more than I wanted my next breath. Then one day I was completely healed in an instant. People often want healing first and then they believe they will obey. God says obey and seek my face and then I will heal you. Jeremiah 29:13 says “And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.”